Gabe Kapler's Chest

has been voted on by Meg as the "10th hottest baseball player" (because she apparently doesn't like his face.)
Some of the "enhanced" pics on her blog are priceless:

Review: "Harry Gear"

The folks over at ReviewMe were kind enough to ask me to write a review of a website called Harry Gear. Oh, and they’re paying me to do it too, I must let you know. I don’t have to be nice, even. What I’m trying to say is that this is a “sponsored” post. If stuff like that bothers you, please skip this post. If not, read on!

My kids are all teenagers now so the stuff on Harry Gear is a bit “too young” for them, as it is most other Harry Potter-oriented merchandise. That being said, I found the items on Harry Gear to be very cute and the prices more than reasonable. The flat-rate shipping is a nice touch, and even better, there is free shipping on orders over $25. It looks as if most of the items this site sells are apparel or costume-type items such as hats, scarves, and ties. I thought the "sorting hat" was pretty cool. Harry Gear offers a money-back guarantee so I would feel pretty comfortable ordering something from this site.

Being somewhat nosy, I checked out the “parent” site of Harry Gear, a place called Legendary Toys. They sell much more than Harry Potter stuff. They say “we feature fairy tales, myths, medieval castles, prehistoric times, mythological creatures and monsters, magical animals, and ancient civilizations -- the stuff of legends. Toys, books, puppets, puzzles, games and more in many exciting fantasy themes!” I found a few items there that I would love to order for my four-year old nephew who is really in to fantasy right now.

One thing I did notice is that while Harry Gear has free or fixed-price shipping, Legendary Toys doesn’t (they ship by weight), but their prices are a little lower, so it may be to your benefit to check both sites to see which way your order comes out less.

If you have had any experiences with ordering from Harry Gear (or Legendary Toys), either good or bad, please post them in the comments section! Thanks!

Last Week's Soccer Results

2/21 88 TFC Navy 2 88 CASL elite 3
2/23 93 TFC Navy 0 93 CASL elite 2
2/24 88 TFC Navy 2 88 PSA White 0
2/25 93 TFC Navy 0 93 CASL premier 3

May this week bring better results!

Stupid Cute Video of the Day

Maybe NSFW...a couple of words not bleeped out all the way.
Try to get this tune out of your head after you watch it...

R.I.P. Vader

One of our cats (we had 4) died today. We're not even sure why. Vader was perfectly fine yesterday as far as I know.

He came in today "talking" to us like he always does ("aowwwwww....aowwwwww....") but this time he seemed to be in a bit of pain or distress. Then he coughed up something green, but we just thought it was some grass.

Then Vader went outside to lie in the sun, and when I came home from my son's game this afternoon, he (the cat) was gone. His mom Yoda (yes we let the kids name the cats) was off to the side, just looking at him. I think she knew. My husband thinks I'm crazy for thinking that cats know stuff like that.

Vader was not quite four. Just a kid. He used to follow our dog around the yard when we let him (the dog) out. He was the only one of our cats who wasn't spooked by the dog. He was probably the coolest cat we had.

Of the three we have left now: Spot (the oldest) is like a geriatric Garfield; he just eats and sleeps and sheds massively on my (dark) clothes. Yoda is an OK pet but she gets white hair on everything, though she does love to cuddle with ED and like to have her tummy rubbed. One of her flaws is that her nose always seems to be runny and she likes to rub it on your hand while you are petting her. Yoda's last living kitten, Chewie, is afraid of everything, doesn't like to be petted, and is really just a waste of a pet, though he is pretty. I think if cats can be autistic, Chewie would be.

Hopefully Vader is now playing with his brother Luke (who got hit by a car) and his unnamed sister (who died at birth) in kittie heaven--killing birds, snakes and voles to his heart's content.

Truth in Labeling.

What a Classy Guy

...and the accent is yummy, too.

I Want a Pink Jersey Too!

In a game that will be played on the day before Mother’s Day, the U.S. Women’s National Team will wear unique Nike pink jerseys to support and promote Breast Cancer Awareness, marking the first-time the U.S. Women’s National Team has ever worn a special edition jersey.

The U.S. Women’s National Team will face Canada on Saturday, May 12, at Pizza Hut Park in Frisco, Texas. The match will kickoff at 6:30 p.m. CT.

Awwwwww...

One of my favorite songs I used to sing (if you can call it that) to my babies.

Dirty Cell Phone Update

So...because I have a mean streak, before I erased all the numbers from my "new-used" ebay phone, I texted one of the people whose dirty messages were left on the phone (see "Just a Helpful Hint" below.) Here's how it went:

Me: You should tell your friends that when they sell their phones they should erase the dirty text messages you leave on them.
Phone Guy: Who the hell is this??
Me: Just someone who bought a phone on eBay and found text messages left on it, some of them from you.
PG: What did they say? This isn't my phone it's my sons. [yeah right.]
Me: Nothing major. I erased them all anyway.
PG: What number was on the phone when you got it?
Me: Sorry, this phone has a SIM card so I don't know the phone number of the previous owner.

OK so that was pretty mean of me but highly enjoyable. I gave someone I don't even know a "harmless" little butt-clench moment today.

What I'd Like to Find on a Soccer Field.

Just a Helpful Hint.

When you sell a used cell phone on eBay, erase all the old text messages off of it, first. Otherwise some weirdo like me will buy it and read all 44 of them. And yes, a couple of of them were dirty.

Here are some of the not-dirty ones I erased from the phone while setting it up:

12/02/06 10:38 pm: wish u were here.
12/02 06 2:28 am: where are you?
12/02/06 3:00 am: can i kiss you right now?
11/13/06 5:17 pm: man that was a long day
11/13/06 12:11 am: wow, u mustve left your sense of humor in Seattle. Where r u?
11/12/06 5:56 pm: do you wear disney shorts? way too big for daniel.
11/12/06 5:17 pm: does daniel have any glue or paste?
11/10/06 11:00 am: I hope u r having a good time. Sucks here w/o u :(
3/21/06 3:29 pm: only in the past four months was too ashamed to tell them
3/21/06 2:54 pm: 6, aRe you ok?
3/19/06 7:24 pm: if it makes you fel any better i have never been more depressed and unhappy my entire life

Kapler Photo of the Day

It's been a while, but Spring Training has started, and retired-player-new-minor-league-manager Gabe Kapler is down in Florida training with the Red Sox. Here's the only photo I've been able to find so far. Not the best, but it will do! Here's hoping there will be more soon.

Read the article I "borrowed" this picture from here. Go Sox.

Ragu: Soccer has bigger balls.

Ragu offers a free book called Soccer Mom Shortcuts. Apparently they have their sports confused, though. The little red-haired kid does look well-fed, even though he's wearing the wrong outfit. I ordered the book, so in 4 to 6 weeks I'll tell you if it's worth anything.

Weird Google Search of the Day

Welcome, silly visitor who found this blog by looking for "youtube moms who undress." Sorry, nothing to see here! We're all fully clothed. Run along!

Baby Got Back, the Musical.

Make Your Own Candy Hearts!

I needed this website to play with two days ago.

Or, you can really make your own personal candy hearts. To eat and everything.

See some random hearts people have made (not responsible for bad words.)

"Regular" Season Starts Tomorrow

Though in this house it seems soccer never stops (let's see, we have NC Youth Soccer regular seasons, Region III Premier League, High School soccer, Middle School soccer, Super Y League, ODP, US Club Soccer SuperY League ODP camp, and soon to be added Division I ACC Clemson soccer...well, you get the picture) tomorrow marks the start of the "regular" season. The games that count for State Cup seeding.

The '93 TFC Navy girls travel to Greensboro to play on an artificial turf field at 10 am. Which means I have to leave the house at 7:30 am tomorrow. No sleeping in for the soccer mom!

'88 Navy boys start their season Wednesday night against CASL elite. That's right, let's get that game out of the way right at the beginning of the year. This is the boys' last club season, ever, and I think I'm going to be a bit sad at every game, when I see all of the parents I've been hanging out with for the past several years, and realize no matter how much we'll promise to stay in touch, we mostly won't, and I'll lose a group of good friends (and drinking buddies) soon.

Happy Valentine's Day

Love to my readers, all three of you! What did you do or get from your significant other today? Me, I probably have to take a kid to soccer practice tonight, because lucky me, turf fields don't close in the rain.

I don't think I'll be getting any roses, candy, or jewelry, or even a card, if this year is the same as years past. It doesn't bother me anymore.

Tee-hee

Someone found this blog by doing a Google search for "bitch-slapping." Coincidentally enough, I would love to be doing that to two or three people I know, right about now.

The Only Bob Dylan Song I Really Like

...and a great video to go with it.

Clemson Men's Soccer 2007 Signees

Clemson Head Men's Soccer Coach Trevor Adair announced the signing of six players to national letters-of-intents Thursday to play soccer for the Tigers in the fall of 2007.

The signees include Eric Cava, Tommy Drake, Sam Petrone, John Tardy, Keegan Priest, and JD Spearman.

Congrats, TD!

Clemson University, Class of 2011.

We're so proud of you, kid.

I Guess That's Why I'm So Smart.

Because my mom couldn't STFU.

My kids should be freakin' geniuses!

This is for you, ED. Love, Mom.

Thanks to Cocobelle from the NC Soccer Forum for bringing this to my attention:

Copyright 2004 W. Bruce Cameron
Please do not remove the copyright from this essay.

Congratulations! You are now the proud new owner of a teenaged daughter. Please read this manual carefully, as it describes the maintenance of your new daughter, and answers important questions about your warranty (which does NOT include the right to return the product to the factory for a full refund).

IF YOU FEEL YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR TEENAGER IN ERROR: To determine whether you were supposed to receive a teenaged girl, please examine your new daughter carefully. Does she (a) look very similar to your original daughter, only with more makeup and less clothing? (b) refuse to acknowledge your existence on the planet Earth (except when requesting money)? (c) sleep in a burrow of dirty laundry? If any of these are true, you have received the correct item. Nice try, though.

BREAK-IN PERIOD: When you first receive your teenaged daughter, you will initially experience a high level of discomfort. Gradually, this discomfort will subside, and you will merely feel traumatized. This is the "Break-In Period," during which you are becoming accustomed to certain behaviors that will cause you concern, anxiety, and stress. Once you have adapted to these behaviors, your teenager will start acting even worse.

ACTIVATION: To activate your teenaged daughter, simply place her in the vicinity of a telephone. No further programming is required.

SHUTDOWN: Several hours after activation, you may desire to shut down your teenaged daughter. There is no way to do this.

CLEANING YOUR TEENAGED DAUGHTER: Having a teenaged daughter means learning the difference between the words "clean" and "neat." Teenaged daughters are very clean, because they take frequent showers that last more than an hour. They will scrub themselves with expensive, fragrant soaps which you must purchase for them because like I'm sure I'm going to use like the same kind of soap my mom and dad use. When they have completely drained the hot-water tank, they will step out and wrap themselves in every towel in the bathroom, which they will subsequently strew throughout the house. If you ask them to pick up the towels, you are confusing "clean" with "neat." Teenagers are very busy and do not have time to be neat. They expect others to pick up after them. These others are called "parents."

FEEDING YOUR TEENAGED DAUGHTER: Your teenaged daughter requires regular meals, which must be purchased for her at restaurants because she detests everything you eat because it is like so disgusting. She does not want you to accompany her to these restaurants, because some people might see you and like I'm sure I want my friends to see me eating dinner with my parents. Either order take-out food or just give her the money, preferably both. If you order pizza, never answer the doorbell because the delivery boy might see you and ohmigod he is so hot. Yes, your daughter's idea of an attractive man is the pizza boy.

CLOTHING YOUR TEENAGED DAUGHTER: Retailers make millions of dollars a year selling stylish and frankly sensible clothing which will look adorable on your daughter. If you enjoy shopping, you will love the vast selections which are available to you. Unfortunately, your teenaged daughter wants to dress like a lap dancer. You may be able to coerce her into putting on a cute outfit before leaving the house, but by the time she walks in the schoolhouse door, she will be wearing something entirely different.

OTHER MAINTENANCE: Teenaged daughters require one of two levels of maintenance: "High," and "Ultra High." Your daughter is "Ultra High." This means that whatever you do won't be enough and whatever you try won't work.

WARRANTY: This product is not without defect because she has your genes, for heaven's sake. If you think this is not fair, talk to your parents, who think it is hilarious. Your teenaged daughter will remain a teenager for as long as it takes for her to become a woman, which in her opinion has already happened and as far as you are concerned never really will. If you are dissatisfied with your teenaged daughter, well, what did you expect? In any event, your warranty does not give you your little girl back under any circumstances, except that deep down she's actually still there -- you just have to look for her.

Received from W. Bruce Cameron.

RIP, Fruitcake Lady

She makes me laugh, no matter how many times I see the same clips. Not safe for work, probably:

I Wish I Could Play The Banjo.

Though I don't know that the Star Wars theme would be one of my first choices to play:

Sad Update to Beckham Story

The young girl whom David Beckham was kind enough to call last week, passed away from melanoma a few days ago. She was only 19.
More details here.

My Next Monitor?

This little TV is so darn cute. It's a shame it doesn't seem to function as a computer monitor as well, though there may be workarounds for that. If (when) I can afford a Mac Mini, I'd love to use this with it! Click here to see some alternate views.